|||||Jackson Browne -- In the Shape of a Heart||]|
Hi everyone! My name is Carawen. I really enjoy HP AUs. This is one of three AUs I have written so far. The other two are for the FDD FQF.
I saw the challenge issued and had to laugh. This story was started last June, but it is set in the 1800s and features cross-dressing!Harry, sort of. Anyway, here is part of my story.
TITLE: Hoping You'll See 1-3/9
AUTHOR: Carawen Javolia
PAIRING: Harry/Sev, Hermione/Remus That means SLASH! Boy on boy.
oohh.... the possibilities....
Flames will keep me warm in the winter.
DISCLAIMER: If they were mine, do you really think I wouldn't be making money
SUMMARY: AU: A soul mate spell leaves Harry in a strange situation.
CATEGORY: Alternate Universe / Drama / First Time / Romance
NOTE: Now, I've always said (at least to myself) I'd never pair Hermione and
Remus, even though I've seen it done before. Well, there were just no other
characters I felt would fit as well into this story. Like they say, never say
NOTE 2: Throughout the story there are references to clothing, so if you read it
on my site, then there will be links to pictures of the clothing described. Also
on my site is a floor plan for the castle.
ARCHIVING: FF.Net, beware of darkness: mortal-moon.org/carawen/
Some important notes on this story:
1. This takes place approximately 1880, but there are no external forces
mentioned, i.e. politics, economics, etc. The time period is just to give an
idea for the clothing.
2. Magic exists in this world, but there are restrictions on it's use. Only
those of nobility can perform magic. Servants can't. That's why mediwizards and
mediwitches aren't considered servants. (You'll see.)
3. It isn't unusual for two men to be together, as long as at least one of
them is a wizard. Then society finds it more justifiable. On the same note,
MPreg isn't all that unusual either.
Chapter One: Heorte Bindan! (or, How Everything
Two knocks on the door.
"Come in," a cultured voice
The door opens, and a boy steps
through. "My Lord." He bows before the man sitting at the writing
"What is it, Harry."
"I've come to tell you that the
Malfoys are arriving. They're just beyond the gatehouse."
"Very good. Go back to what you
should be doing." With a curt wave of a hand, the boy is dismissed.
When the boy is back in the kitchens, he
lets out a great breath of air.
"Harry?" a gentle voice
questions. Harry looks up at Remus, the man who raised him from babyhood.
"Is something wrong?"
"The Malfoys are here. I fear I will
be made to wait on Lord Malfoy the younger again. The last time they were here,
he made me do every little thing for him. If I didn't do it fast enough, he
would put magic on me."
"Did you tell our Lord? He has no
right to do that. Not to a servant that isn't his, when he is in another's
"No, I never told. I feared young
Lord Malfoy would insist to our Lord that I was lying."
Remus sighs. "If you are made to wait
on him again, and he puts any magic on you, no matter how minor, you come to me.
Our Lord would have no reason not to believe me. I've been here longer than he's
"Of course, Remus."
"For now..." Remus looks around,
checking on the work of the other servants. "Go and sit with Hermione. Its
not yet time for supper."
Hermione is Remus' wife of two years, and
the only other servant of Harry's age. Being with child for the first time, she
is not permitted to do anything more than sew clothes for the castle's various
Hermione is in a small room off the side
of the Lady's closet. She is working on their Lord's costume for the masque he
is giving. When she sees Harry she smiles and beckons him in. "Hello
Harry sits next to her and picks up a
scrap of silk. "I wish I were of nobility, Hermione. Or at least not a
"What has brought this on?"
"Lord Malfoy the younger."
"Ah." Hermione knows of Harry's
intense disliking on the adolescent nobleman, but not why.
"I'm the only servant younger and
smaller than him. He'll undoubtedly request my service again."
Hermione puts the waistcoat she is
embroidering aside and turns to him. "He didn't hurt you in any way, did
"He never once laid a hand on me. He
only said some things that were inappropriate. That's all," Harry lies.
"I just want you to be safe."
"If anyone were to hear us they'd
think I am but a child and you my mother," Harry teases.
"Come here." Hermione hugs Harry
to her. "You are my brother in all but blood. I can't help but worry about
"I know, I know." Harry curls up
on the bench, his head in Hermione's lap, as she returns to her sewing.
It is some time later when another servant
enters the small room. "Wake up, boy," he demands, glaring at Harry.
"Our Lord has sent directions for you." The servant, Peter, thrusts
the folded parchment at Harry and stalks out.
When Harry had still been a child, Remus
taught him his letters, but their Lord, being only three years older than Harry,
took the boy on as a pet of types. He taught Harry Latin, Greek, Gaelic, and
Welsh, along with mathematics, geography, and some magical theory. As he grew
older, though, he lost interest in Harry, and the boy returned to his place as a
Harry unfolds the paper and reads it. He
groans and lets his head drop to the table.
"What is it?"
"Young Lord Malfoy has requested my
service again, and our Lord has granted it. After supper, I will move into the
servant's room adjoining their guest suite."
"How long are they staying?"
"It could be longer. Their last visit
they were here thrice that long." Hermione stands. "Come. Dusk has
fallen. It is time for supper."
Harry hates the way young Lord Malfoy just
stares at him. He is putting the nobleman's clothes away while the nobleman is
question sits on the bed. "Tell me, boy," he drawls. "How old are
"Seventeen, my lord," Harry
answers quickly and quietly.
"And how many girls have you bedded?
I imagine it has been a lot. You don't seem to actually do anything around
"I have not bedded any girl, my
"None? None at all?" Young Lord
Malfoy sits up, incredulity on his face. "And why not?"
"If a girl is expected to enter her
marriage bed untouched, then why shouldn't a man do the same?"
"You plan to wait until your
marriage?" The nobleman falls back on his bed, laughter escaping him.
"I hope you don't expect your wife to carry the same principles. Most
servant girls don't wait for marriage to bed a man, and sometimes not even
marriage can keep them out of other men's beds."
Harry stays silent, not wanting to provoke
young Lord Malfoy.
"If you are so worried about the
purity of your marriage bed, perhaps we should find out who exactly it is you
should marry." Harry starts backing away when young Lord Malfoy pulls out
his wand, but the boy isn't fast enough. "Heorte
bindan!"¹ young Lord Malfoy shouts.
Harry falls immediately to the ground,
violent spasms shaking his body. Young Lord Malfoy, seeing what is
happening to Harry, rushes over to the bell pull that would summon a servant.
Not five minutes later Remus hurries in. He goes to Harry's side, not sparing a
glance at young Lord Malfoy.
"What has happened?"
"He just fell over and started doing
that," the nobleman lies.
"I'll take him back to his room.
Perhaps our mediwitch will know what's wrong." Remus lifts Harry, who is
still twitching slightly. "I'm sorry this happened, my lord." Remus
leaves through the servants' passage.
Back in the large room shared by the male
servants, Remus sets Harry on his bed. He wipes a bit of sweat off the younger
boy's brow with his handkerchief. The mediwitch, who isn't a servant per say,
because she can perform magic, arrives minutes later. "What happened to
"Young Lord Malfoy said he simply
fell over with spasms, but I don't believe him."
The mediwitch runs her wand over Harry.
"You're right not to. He's had a spell put on him. I'm not quite sure what
it is. We'll just have to let it run it's course. It will end eventually. I'll
report this to our Lord. He'll be most upset that this has been done to
Harry." The mediwitch walks out.
Remus is changing Harry into his sleeping
clothes when he notices something odd. A soft swelling across Harry's chest that
hadn't been there before. Afraid of what he might see, Remus lifts Harry's
shirt. Where there should be flat muscle, are breasts. Remus lifts Harry again
and brings him to the room he shares with Hermione. Hermione is already there,
reading before she prepares for bed.
"Remus? Is something wrong with
Harry?" she questions, worrying about her friend.
"Young Lord Malfoy put some spell on
him, and it's turned Harry into a girl. I can't leave his with the other male
servants like this."
"Of course. Do all the others still
think he is with young Lord Malfoy?"
"Let Harry stay here tonight. If he
is still like this when he wakes up, it will be quite a shock for him."
Hermione carefully dresses Harry in one of
Remus' oversized shirts. Remus sleeps on the floor while Harry and Hermione
remain in the bed.
Chapter Two: The New Girl (or, Day One)
The next morning, Harry is still a girl.
Hermione dresses him in a spare skirt and blouse, taking time to teach him how to deal
with all the extra fabric. "I'll check later to see if there is a corset for you to use," she tells him.
Remus, Harry, and Hermione move to the
room off the Lady's closet to talk.
"What did he do to you?" Remus
"I think, considering what he said,
and what the spell means, that he has put a spell on me to make me find my mate.
That doesn't explain why I've turned into a woman."
The three puzzle over this for a moment
before Hermione looks up. "Perhaps... Maybe this means your... mate is a
"But that can't be. The point of
having a mate is to produce children. Two men can't do that."
"Ah, but you aren't a man now, are
"You don't think I'll stay this way
forever, do you?"
"Maybe you'll only be this way long
enough for your mate to become comfortable with you, and then you'll change
back. If your mate is a wizard, then he might know a way for you to have
"A wizard..." Harry thinks over
that. "Oh no! What if young Lord Malfoy is my mate?" He groans and
lets his head fall to the table.
"Harry." Harry transfers his
gaze to Remus. "What if our Lord is your mate?"
"Our Lord. My mate. But he barely
even looks at me anymore."
"Oh, I've the most wonderful idea! We
can put you up in one of the guest rooms, and you can pretend to be one of the
guests here for our Lord's parties. There will be several wizards here, you
might find the one that's your mate."
"No, we can't! I don't know the first
thing about being a noble lady! I'd slip up the first time our Lord might talk
"We'll help you, I promise. Now, we
need a name for you. You can't very well go around calling yourself
"I never exactly thought I'd ever
need a name for when I was turned into a girl, though."
"It should be something simple,
pure," Remus suggests. "Your mother's name was Caitlyn. You could use
Harry thinks it over for a moment.
"Caitlyn. I think I shall use it."
"Well then. We have a lot to work on.
Let's go." Hermione grabs Harry's hand and drags him to the store of
clothing available to the servants.
Two hours later Hermione has found a
corset for Harry and he has put it on under his clothes. v
"How can you stand to wear
this?" Harry shifts around as well as he can with the tight corset
pinching his upper body.
"You'll get used to it. Remember,
most ladies grow up wearing corsets, so it isn't a big deal to them."
Hermione is altering an ivory silk gown for him to wear. The soft whir of
the sewing machine as Hermione's foot pumps the pedal is comforting.
"You'll help me, right?"
"Every chance I get, but it isn't
really appropriate for anyone to see me. I'll do my best to be with you,
Harry is put in one of the smallest rooms in the ladies' wing on the
second floor of the castle. Hermione dresses him in a dark blue beaded dress and
sends him down to lunch with the guests that have arrived so far. v
None of the guests approach Harry,
choosing instead to stare at the new presence. Harry is somewhat surprised that
his Lord is not present at the luncheon, but his Lady is there. Harry has a brief
moment of panic that she will recognize him as the boy he is, but she doesn't
speak to him at all. It is a relief to him when he is able to retreat back to
his rooms to prepare for dinner.
Harry is prodded and squeezed and shaped
until he feels he'll never be able to breathe again. The waist of his dinner
gown is much smaller than the one of his afternoon dress. The
neckline is low and decorated with lace, and a train falls from the back of the
The first time Harry sees his Lord is as
the Grand Staircase. All eyes turn to the unknown woman. Harry feels himself
flushing at the attention.
At the base of the stairs stands Harry's
Lord, greeting his guests as they pass through the Grand Staircase to the Great
Hall. Next to him is his mother, the Lady of the castle. Harry stops before
them, nervous at his first time thought of as equal to them. Harry curtseys, looking down.
Hermione spent time perfecting his curtsey. "Lady Snape, Lord Snape,"
Lady Snape steps forward. "My dear,
you must give us your name."
"Lady Caitlyn, of Linlithgow."
"Have you always lived there?"
"No, my Lady. I have spent the last
five years in India, but my father decided to send me back here."
"That is most fascinating. You must
tell me of it later."
"Of course, my Lady."
Harry enters the Great Hall and is shown
to a seat by Peter, one of the servants. It is about halfway down the length of
the room from where Lady and Lord Snape sit. To his right no one is seated, but
to the left is a young woman and her father. She turns to Harry. "Hello.
I'm Lady Lavender, and this is my father, the Baron of Dunfermline. Who are
"Lady Caitlyn, of Linlithgow."
"Linlithgow? Wherever is that?"
"It's some hours northeast of here.
Not as far as Dunfermline."
"Oh. Rather common place, isn't
"Now, Lavender, dear," her
father cuts in. "A lady of nobility shouldn't be demeaning to those lower
than she is."
"Of course, Father." Lady
Lavender turns away from Harry, looking up the table to where Lord Snape will
Harry barely notices as the feast passes.
He watches and copies Lady Lavender's movements. All too soon for Harry the
feast is over.
The guests trek back up the Grand
Staircase to the Greater Gallery for the night's ball. Harry tries to disappear
in the crowd, but to no avail. Young Lord Malfoy seeks him out. "Lady
Caitlyn, is it? Might I entreat you to the first waltz?"
"Please, my lord, I'd rather-"
"Of course you'll dance with
me." Young Lord Malfoy pulls Harry out to the dancing area. Lord Snape
stands with Lady Lavender at his side, waiting for a waltz to begin. When the
music starts young Lord Malfoy sweeps Harry across the floor in an intricate
pattern he can barely follow. After what seems to be ages to Harry the dance
ends and he is released. He immediately claims a chair along the wall to catch
Three dances pass as Harry sits on the
side. The patterns the twirling couples make are beautiful. Lord Severus dances
each dance, every time with a different partner.
When Lord Severus approaches Harry it is
all he can do not to turn and run away. Lady Snape didn't recognize him, but
surely Lord Severus would!
"Lady Caitlyn," Lord Severus
acknowledges. "Might I have the honor of your hand for the next
Harry blushes and looks down. "You
might, my Lord." Harry puts his hand in Lord Severus' outstretched one and
is guided onto the dance floor. Though the steps are the same as the dance he
shared with Lord Malfoy, dancing with Lord Severus is much calmer and gentler.
Harry doesn't dance again after that, but
instead opts to retire early.
Chapter Three: The Lord (or, Day Two)
Tuesday morning retains the chill of the recently passed winter months, but
the sun shines brightly. Harry wears a simple white organdy dress. Hermione and
Remus decide that he should dress in mostly whites and pastels to emphasize his
youth and innocence. v
After a light breakfast, the party disperses throughout the castle. Harry
ends up in the lesser gallery, and is happy that he is not followed by young
It isn't much later that Lord Severus arrives.
"My Lord," Harry says, inclining his head.
"Please, I must insist the you call me Severus. There is no need for
such formalities between us."
"Of course, Severus." A blush crosses Harry's cheek at such a familiar
"And might I presume to do the same?"
"Good. Are you enjoying your stay so far?"
Harry thinks thinks quickly to have an appropriate answer. "Yes, I am.
The rooms are nice and your servants are most helpful."
"If you need anything, or have any problems with any of the servants,
just call for my head servant, Remus. He'll be able to help you."
"Thank you for telling me."
"Of course. I do beg that you excuse me, for there are others I must
"Oh, yes, certainly." Harry watches Severus' graceful movements as
the man leaves the lesser gallery.
For dinner that night, Harry dresses in an off-white gown with small rose
colored flowers. It is simpler than the gown he'd worn the evening before, but
nonetheless formal. His corset still makes him uncomfortable. v
The guests are scattered on the grand staircase, waiting for Severus to lead
them into the Great Hall, but Severus isn't present yet.
Young Lord Malfoy appears suddenly at Harry's side, startling him. "My
dear Lady Caitlyn," he starts. "It's such a shame you retired early,
for I would have liked to dance with you again."
"I'm sorry, I was tired from the day's activities."
"Then I shall simply have to reserve some of your dances on
"Of course, my lord."
A deep voice behind young Lord Malfoy surprises him. "My lady, you must watch out for this one. He has a habit of
attacking other's servants."
Young Lord Malfoy glares and sulks away.
Severus offers Harry his arm. "I hope
he didn't bore you with his arrogance, Lady Caitlyn."
Harry blushes. "Oh, no, not at all.
He wasn't talking to me for long." Harry slides his arm through Severus'
and lets the older man lead him to the Great Hall.
"What did you mean by attacking your servants?"
"He cursed one of my servants, a
young man, with an unknown spell. My mediwitch can't identify it, and Draco
denies cursing him at all. It has made him quite sick. Money isn't everything,
my lady, though it makes some believe they can do whatever they wish with their
"You don't believe that, then?"
"No, not at all. Those below us need
our guidance, not our scorn." Severus stops at the head of the table.
"You must sit beside me tonight, Lady Caitlyn."
Severus pulls back a chair for Harry.
"Thank you." Harry lowers himself into the seat, aware of some
angry gazes sent him by other ladies in attendance. Lord Severus ignores it,
though, and so does Harry. Lord Severus eats in near silence, only answering the
occasional question from his mother. After dinner is finished he offers his
mother his arm, and declares that games will be played in the parlor. Most of
the younger guests follow him, while Lady Snape and some of the older party
members instead retire for the night.
When everyone is seated in the parlor, Severus calls for attention.
"Well, my friends, what shall we play?"
"Blind Man's Bluff!"
Lady Lavender stands up. "Let's play Sculptor, my lord. You can be the sculptor,
and pose us how ever you want."
"I suppose we might start with that." Severus arranges many of the
guests in outlandish poses, but the pose he puts Harry is in soft and simple.
Lord Finnigan the second is the first to break pose, followed by several others.
After three more rounds, a new game is proposed.
"Let us do riddles, and if someone doesn't answer, or is wrong, there
shall be a forfeit to be paid," young Lord Malfoy suggests.
"Yes, that's a wonderful idea. Whomever asks the question decides the
forfeit." Lady Lavender turns to Severus. "Who shall you ask first, my
"Let me think." Severus looks over at the guests before him.
"Lady Parkinson. Here is a riddle for you. I soar without wings, I
see without eyes.
I've traveled the universe to and fro.
I've conquered the world, yet I've never been anywhere but home. What am I?"
"Oh, that is far to easy my lord. The answer is your imagination."
"You are right."
Lady Parkinson asks the next riddle of Lord Finnigan. The riddles and
answers circle the room until Lady Lavender offers one to young Lord Malfoy.
"When I am filled I can
point the way.
When I am empty, nothing moves me.
I have two skins - One without and one within.
What am I?"
"Why, you are a Glove, of course."
"You are correct. Now I do believe Lady Caitlyn has not been asked
"You are right." Young Lord Malfoy turns his eyes on Harry.
"Lady Caitlyn, here is your riddle. You can find me in darkness but
never in light. I am present in daytime but absent at night. In the deepest of
shadows, I hide in plain sight. What am I?"
Harry blushes. He had never been good with riddles. "I do not know, my
"You cannot answer? Why then, you must perform a forfeit. And what shall
it be? You must kiss one of the men in the room."
Harry looks nervously around the room. Undoubtedly young Lord Malfoy expects
himself to receive the kiss, but Harry has a different plan. Hesitantly he
approaches Severus, cheeks red. When Severus looks up, Harry presses a quick
kiss to the man's cheek. Harry instantly returns to his seat amid soft laughter
from the others present.
When Harry is seated again, Severus clears his throat. "Well, who shall
ask the next question, as Lady Caitlyn has been eliminated?"
Harry is relieved when the party breaks up after another hour. He follows the
others up to his rooms, his second day in a female body survived.
1. Heorte bindan! The spell young Lord
Malfoy uses is Old English, which translates literally as heart tie.